I Am He
by Kizem
Summary: "... He suffered so much that I suffered for him. This is where I was born. The love and the misery of his obsession that he can't control, I will handle it. I will love you for him. The you that he couldn't accept, I will accept for him. Nice to meet you Nijimura-senpai. I love you." Where a weakness takes form of a monster, and a monster that destroys its creator. Go figure.


"I, Akashi Seijuro, does not harvest any useless feelings like that. I am perfect, without any flaw. There is nothing I am uncertain about."

 _"Oh? But it's true, you do love him, don't you? Embrace it."_

The mirror broke. "No. Be quiet. I can't love a person like that, it is simply unacceptable. I am not ill."

 _"Then in that case..."_ He smiled. That horrible creepy sinister smile that scared the wits out of himself.

 _" Why don't you relax a bit and calm down a bit? Because 'I', will love him for you. All your uncertainties, all your anxiety, and all your obsession with perfection; I will handle it for you. Sit down and watch the show. Let me take over... I will end everything."_

-END-

"AKASHICHII! We were wondering why you were taking so lo- WHA, WHAT HAPPENED? THERE'S BLOOD ON THE BROKEN MIRROR AND YOUR HAND! YOUR GOING TO DIE, YOUR GOING TO DIE."

"Fucking Kise, SHUT UP LIKE WHAT THE HELL." Dark blue eye's glanced over. "Oh shiiiittt."

One by one, everyone started to gather inside of the bathroom door. They were currently in Akashi's large house, only because most of their grades were terrible to the point it was possible that they were no longer eligible to play in any of their school games.

"Akashi, did you punch the mirror?" That was Midorima, who simply pushed up his glasses to look at the scene more closely.

"We need to bandage your hand. Akashi-kun needs to be more careful next time." The small sky blue haired male only started to bend down and collect the broken pieces.

Our beloved purple candy loving giant was only eating away his food. What more did you expect of him?

"I'm sorry, I suppose I did startle everyone. This injury is only minor, and a small fly only bugged me. Though I have to say, I did use too much force for that one hit..." A apologetic smile after a small chuckle. "I'll clean up Kuroko-kun, and then we'll continue what we were doing before."

Everyone stopped to register what they just saw.

The infamous Akashi Seijuro just smiled like that.

He apologized.

There was a moment of silence for approximately ten seconds.

"... Akashi-kun. Did something happen to you?"

Everyone turned to the shorter male with an expression that read 'He said it!'. The only answer they received was another gentle smile that they all can swear they have never seen before. "I'm pretty positive that I'm perfectly fine Kuroko. Thank you for worrying."

Looking at one another, everyone cautiously continued on to their studying. Awkward glances were shot to one another wondering if what was happening was real. It was weird. Even more weird since the nice act Akashi was putting up didn't die even after a hour.

It was as if he was a changed person.

No, he is a completely changed person. No one knew who this was.

"Akashi." It was Midorima that had spoken up this time. "Why are you.. no, who are you trying to be?"

"I'm not trying to be anyone. Is there something that bothers you?"

"Your not acting like your usual self. Where is Akashi Seijuro should be a better question."

"... I'm only acting my true self."

The conversation ended at that. There was nothing more to say, nothing more to do. After another hour or two the former teammates bid their goodbyes. None of them were comfortable with the situation they found themselves in nor were they exactly hating it. The crimson headed male stared from the window watching them discuss among themselves outside.

How nerve-racking. It almost annoyed him. But he still smiled.

Perhaps there was still someone he was looking for. Someone that was worth his time.

Ah, that's right. Why haven't he thought of that earlier?

His footsteps glided gracefully through the floor as he reached out and picked up his cell phone. His screen brightened and gave off a soft white light as long slender fingers found its way to the contacts of his phone. With one click of the call button, he placed the phone right next to his ear.

The phone rang few a few seconds before the person on the other line picked up.

"Ah, crap, hello?"

"Nijimura-senpai. Am I calling at a bad time?"

"Akashi? Oh, no not at all, uhm... what's up? It's rare for you to call me. Even though I saw you last week."

"Then... are you free at the moment? I was thinking we can grab something to eat at a nearby cafe. There's also a few problems I wanted to consult and ask you for your opinion."

"Problems? Everything alright? I've got time. Where to?"

"Come to my place. I assume you remember where it is. I'll see you in around thirty minutes."

"...Alright. See ya."

Akashi smiled as he walked towards his room to grab a sweater. True, he had seen him only a week ago, but that didn't stop him from the feeling of craving for attention. Akashi Seijuro was a coward, a person who couldn't admit his own feelings. His whole body ached. The male looked at the now broken mirror and used it to see a somewhat seeable reflection of himself.

"My Seijuro, you have done quite a lot of damage onto your body. For example."

His hand rolled up his shirt and touched the cuts and bruises that he had hidden from others.

 _Don't look at my body._

"But I am you. Simply the best of you."

Thirty minutes passed quickly. It wasn't even as shocking as he heard the large mansion doorbell rings echo throughout the whole building. The redhead walked and opened the door. There he was. His beloved senpai. The one Seijuro had suffered so much for.

"Nijimura-senpai. Come in, we can't have you waiting out there now." He smiled. It was a kind smile.

"..Right. Sorry for intruding." He looked at the expressions of his kohai's face before shrugging it off. "Man, I'll never get used to this place."

"I hope you do. Anyways, take a seat there. Make yourself comfortable." Akashi went and sat on the couch. Nijimura ended up sitting on the other side. "Want something to drink?"

"I'm good, thanks. Anyways, what did you want to talk about?"

"It's only something trivial. Nonetheless, I still want to hear what you think. What would be the best type of gift?"

"Gift? Well, something that's handmade I guess... means you took your time and created something other than just buying it off a store or online."

"Then if I gave a homemade gift to Nijimura-senpai, you would be happy?"

"Yeah pretty much- wait. What?"

Akashi chuckled lightly and brushed his bangs away. He felt the two pair of dark eyes narrow at him but decided to ignore it. He was here to have a civil conversation with his senpai after all. It was nice talking to him, even though he really didn't have any experience talking to him at all. This is what we call a paradox.

"Hey Akashi, I've been wondering since I saw you today."

"What is it?"

"Is something seriously up? You're not acting the same."

"Ah, many people have been telling that today. Haha, I guess I really am different. Do you hate it?"

"Well no.."

"Then it's fine. That reminds me, there's something I never gave to you. It was meant for your graduation back in middle school."

"Eh?"

"Wait here." He stood up and climbed up the stairs to his room. When he came down again, he had two items in his hand. One was a photo. The other item he was holding was a DvD. He stood in front of his former upperclassman and handed the items to him before sitting down again.

"Oh, our break! Damn, who took the photo of the two of us again? Actually, I'm surprised you even have this picture. And the Dvd... the limited edition that came out during graduation time. Huh? Wait a minute, how did you know I liked this band?"

"It's my favorite photo if I had to be honest. I know a lot more about senpai more than you think I know. Your favorite food is fried rice, you like to play table tennis, your best subject is math, you have specialty in karate, you dislike holding back, you want to find a partner that can cook.. I can list more but I'm afraid that'll take up quite a lot of time."

"... Do you know this much about other people too?"

"It's only you senpai."

"Then. Why me?" He was genuinely curious despite feeling a little uncomfortable knowing that someone probably knows more about him than he knows about himself.

"You don't know?"

"No?"

"It's because I love you."

Moment of silence.

"Do you want me to repeat what I just said?"

"No, it's fine. I got it but uh."

"Senpai. Who invited you here? Leave."

The atmosphere drastically changed as the warm eyes Akashi bore turned cold and icy. His voice that was slow and calming turned venomous. It was as if he was demanding, controlling even. Nijimura recognized this voice immediately. It was the voice that he heard ever since he had met the other after all.

"Is that you.. Akashi?"

 **SLAP**

The redheaded male had slapped himself hard enough to leave a red mark on his pale cheeks. The cold eyes turned loving again as he slowly turned and rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm sorry about it. I didn't mean to be rude."

His upperclassman was silent. "Who are you really?"

"I'm Akashi Seijuro. Who else would I be Nijimura-senpai?"

"..."

"Though I suppose you don't know who I am. You will be the only one who I would introduce myself to, after all, you're the one I love most."

"..I don't believe Akashi 'love' me as you put it."

"That isn't true Nijimura-senpai." The younger male tilted his head slightly and let his eyes soften. "Akashi loved you. He loved you so much that he would put his free time into thinking what you liked and dislike. He loved you so much that he suffered. His perfectionist complex lead him to want to kill himself because the love he had for you was something he can never accept. He had been hiding this for years. But today..."

The redheaded stood and walked in front of the other. His hand extended and gently cupped the other cheeks.

"... He suffered so much that I suffered for him. This is where I was born. The love and the misery of his obsession that he can't control, I will handle it. I will love you for him. The you that he couldn't accept, I will accept for him. Nice to meet you Nijimura-senpai. I love you."

"Don't touch me." His hand that was cupped on his cheek was knocked away.

"I don't know what's going on, but all I know is you're not Akashi. I want to talk to my kohai, not you."

He simply smiled. "I have kept you long enough here, want something to eat? You live far away, I rather not let you get hungry on your way home."

"... I should be leaving. No thank you."

"I see, that's quite a shame. Have a safe trip."

Then he left. Just like that.

But to the Akashi under the surface, something else was going on. He knew what he was doing, he knew what was going on, but he had given up. It was much easier to let the other handle things. The usual commanding voice and personality he had seemed to have fade away bit by bit.

He wanted to say something more than telling his senpai to leave. But he was oppressed. It didn't take him long to realize he was getting controlled by his own creation.

Empty. That's right. That's what he felt.

Was he caged again? Not with perfection but by something else entirely. He wasn't sure what it was.

His body was no longer under his control, the control that he once loved so much. He was numb. The area all around him was dark except for the screen in front of him that told him what was going on in the outside world.

Love? No, he didn't love him. But even he himself knew that was a lie. Did he care? No. Maybe he should just sleep. Sleep is the escape to every reality. Problem is, how can one sleep when they're not even physically able to? World class problems.

 _"Good. Live like this for the rest of your life. It's the only option you have."_

"Only option huh..."

 _"Disappear."_

"... should I?"

Akashi laughed merrily as he looked back into his own reflection using the window.

 _"Go to deep sleep..._

 _... And never wake up."_

((Yo! So honestly I don't know how I'm going to finish this but I'll try my best. I also have this bad habit of starting a new story when I barely finished my other stories. Struggles. Anyways, drop a review and have a great day!

-Kizem))


End file.
